Eternity
by Fading wind
Summary: When you are young, eternity seems like a long time. But when you grow up, your views on the world change. [oneshot RoyEd] [spoilers]


Title: Eternity  
Genre: Romance/Angst  
Pairing: Roy x Edward  
Summary: When you are young, eternity seems like a long time. But when you grow up, your views on the world change.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, RoyEd in this case. Don't like, don't read. Language. End-of-series spoilers.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am borrowing the characters for my pleasure.

**Eternity**

When Edward Elric was fifteen and had just started a curious relationship with the Colonel that his youthful mind, though mature in many ways, could not comprehend, he was never the one to declare undying love. Roy Mustang, strangely enough, had a soft spot for the blond boy and had been caught saying those three infamous words more than once.

Edward scoffed whenever he heard them. He didn't believe in true love. Perhaps he never even believed in _love _either. He could very easily understand family love. He still remembered the beautiful love his mother tenderly held for him, and there was also the brotherly love that bonded him and Alphonse so strongly together. And he could understand the love between friends, for Winry Rockbell was the best possible friend anyone could hope for. She cared for him and Al. Hell, she even _wept _for them just because they themselves would not submit to tears.

But he couldn't fathom the kind of love the Colonel was showing for him. He was pretty sure he didn't possess the same feelings for the older alchemist, but he didn't know what kept him coming back to him night after night. Sometimes he was comforted just by being in the man's presence. It was all too alien to him.

And Edward could recall thinking about those long years stretched out before him when he was with Roy. He was so young. He couldn't exactly be described as 'carefree', for the heavy burden he had was quite stunning for a fifteen-year-old, but compared to the Colonel, he had much less worries. He remembered one particular conversation with the dark-haired man which made him think about his future more than ever.

_"We'll be together forever, won't we?"_

_"Forever? That's so long. Too long. I can't even think about five years later."_

_A sad smile. "I think eternity isn't long enough, Ed."_

The faraway expression on the Flame Alchemist's face had been quite unnerving at that time, but Edward didn't pay much attention to it. He was too immersed in his own thoughts. What would the world be like five years later? Would he have restored Al's body? Would he be leading a peaceful life in Rizenbul, and perhaps found himself a girlfriend, ready to settle down? Would the Colonel have become the Fuhrer of Amestris?

He couldn't bring himself to think about eternity, so he chose not to.

---

When Edward Elric was twenty, he was trapped in a foreign world that he had come to call his own, even though it would never be anything like home. His views had changed so much throughout the years. It _had _been five years since he was the Fullmetal Alchemist, dreaming about tomorrow. And his life was nothing like he had imagined. He laughed dryly when he thought of what would have happened if he tried to picture eternity.

He looked back at his past. It all seemed too distant, almost like a dream. He had only been with the Colonel for about a year before he was snatched away from his world. And although he had never been too fond of their relationship that extended beyond superior and subordinate, he now grasped every single memory he had of him, be it good or bad; he clung onto every moment he spent with Roy, refusing to let go.

He couldn't forgive himself for once thinking that he would grow up and marry some girl and live quietly in the countryside with her. It just wasn't possible to forget Roy. Wasn't possible to move on.

He wasn't incredulous of love anymore. He believed himself to be in love, and his heart yearned for his lover. He knew that hearing Roy confess to him would not be the same. He had always been indifferent to Roy's declarations, but that was because he never really _understood_. He never really knew what those three words meant, never knew what intense emotions were behind just three simple, curt words. Now he wanted to hear them again, coming from his loved one, and decipher the feelings hidden in each word. Sadly, there was no chance of that.

He also found eternity very different from before. Now that he was older, though only twenty, he found the time ahead of him gradually shortening. Eternity didn't seem such a long time presently.

"Roy..."

_"What is it, Ed?"_

The blond was surprised to hear a reply, but he suspected that it was only his mind playing tricks. "I want to be with you. Forever."

_"Thought you said forever was too long for you."_

"It's not. It's... It's too short." The young man's fingers curled up into a fist. "Too fucking short. I wish we had longer than eternity."

He could just see the Colonel in his mind, smirking at him. But the smug expression faded, and there was the sorrowful look once more. _"So do I. But it's impossible. Eternity is the longest time in the world."_

"I wish... I wish I'd believed in you at first." He was shaking all over, holding in the tears the best he could. "I'm so sorry... I love you so fucking much, and I want to believe... Want to... believe..." He choked over the last few words, and the tears poured out. "I want to believe... that you meant what you said to me that time..." He sobbed like a child.

_"I did, Ed. I did. Don't cry."_

Edward almost felt a warmth brushing his tears away, and he looked up, his golden eyes flaring with hope. But there was no one. The blank grey wall greeted him coldly. "I love you," he murmured to the wall. There was no reply. The voice had gone away.

**The End**

**A/N: **I was inspired by an H/D story I read on this site. I haven't written for 3 weeks, so if this isn't too good, blame the horrible writer's block I've been having. Please read & review!


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